Anxiety

MS and anxiety go hand in hand.  I don't know if it's that anxious people tend to get MS or if MS causes anxiety, I suspect it is a little of both, making a vicious cycle.  People like feeling that they are in control of themselves and their life, but people with MS have lost control of their body.  Being on a treatment and trying to eat well and take care of your body can help, but really MS is totally unpredictable.  I could wake up any morning and not be able to walk or see!  It definitely creates anxiety.  I have always been an anxious person, I think, but am more so since being diagnosed with MS.  I even get headaches from all the anxiety and stress.

I easily get flustered when I am running late and when things just aren't going the way I planned on them going.  I worry about everything.  Especially now that I am a mom, I have found that visions of all the 'what ifs' and 'could happens' run through my mind all day.  When I try to fall asleep, I am haunted by visions of all the terrible ways my children could get hurt or die.  Only prayer eases these fits and allows me to get rest.  I really am pretty good at controlling it and keeping it under wraps.  But it sure creates a lot of undue stress in my life.  I have been thinking about ways that I could channel  this anxiety and stress into something more productive. 

I have to say, LISTS are the anxious person's best friend.  I make lists for everything.  I am always worried that I will forget something.  So I write everything down on a calendar and I have sticky not lists all over my house.  I have a daily to-do list, a weekly to-do list, and a monthly to-do list.  I know, I'm a little OCD.  But I have to do this in order to keep my sanity.  Plus, memory problems are another symptom of MS (which I haven't had a problem with yet) and I never know when this symptom will decide to pop up.  

One of the things I probably should do more of is EXERCISE.  I have heard a lot of doctors and others tell me that keeping in shape will make things easier.  But I sure hate exercising.  I go through spurts where I'm diligent about exercising, and then I fall back out of it.  I do somewhat enjoy pilates.  My college roommate, Elise, and I would get up early 3 times a week and push the couches out of the way in our small apartment living room to do pilates together.  It was so much fun.  I am a social exerciser.  My husband does not like pilates, I hate running, and there's no one who lives close enough to come over and do pilates with me, so it is difficult for me to find the motivation to exercise regularly.  I try to justify it by saying to myself, "It's not like I sit on my butt all day!  I run around after two toddlers, cleaning the house, running errands, etc"  But there's this nagging thought in the back of my mind saying, "you need to exercise or your MS will get worse and then you wouldn't be able to run even if you wanted to." 

Another thing people have recommended is YOGA / MEDITATION.  I have never done yoga, but it doesn't appeal to me because I am so inflexible, and from what I've seen it requires that.  But taking a few minutes of each day to meditate might be good.  I read that even taking those few minutes to focus your thinking on all of your anxieties and trying to get all your worries out and clean them out of your mind is therapeutic.

Another kind of therapy I have found is my faith.  My knowledge that God know each of us.  He loves us.  PRAYER is very calming.  I know that God hears my prayers and He answers them.  The answer may not be the answer I want, but it always turns out to be the answer I need.  It is therapeutic to kneel down somewhere in private and thank God for all the blessings He has given me (focusing on the things I have) and asking for the things I want and need, pouring out my heart to Him.  Try it!

Hand in hand with that last one is READING the scriptures, or really any book that brings you comfort.  For me, reading the words of God and reading the stories of how those who serve and obey Him are blessed brings hope and comfort.  Also, knowing that even if something happened to my babies we would still be together for eternity, is reassuring.  That is my favorite part of the Mormon beliefs, known as the plan of salvation.  Read more about it here if you want.  

The last one is have FUN!  We all have something that makes us happy.  For me, it's being crafty and talking.  So my favorite thing is crafting with friends.  I even get these inexplicable urges to create something.  I love to sew, cross-stitch, glue things, cut things, trace things, paint things, anything crafty.  So I try to do something crafty at least once a week.  Even if it's just painting my own picture when my daughter is playing with her paints!  It is cathartic for me.  So find the thing that makes you happy and do it!

I would love to hear what you do to curb your anxieties.  I always need more ideas, so please comment or message me!