9 Principles to Strengthen your Family

I know not all of my readership is Mormon, and I respect that.  But I lead and teach the young women (girls aged 12 -18) of our congregation every week at church, and this week the lesson was one that I feel like is just good advice, no matter what your beliefs.

You can probably pick out a Mormon family by whether they have a copy of "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" displayed prominently in their home.

Here it is in our home, haha!

It documents what we believe in regards to families and explains why we believe the family to be so important.  The whole thing is beautiful, so if you have the time, you should read it all (it's not too long), but one of my favorite parts of it says,

"Successful marriages and families are established on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."

  

That is 9 principles that if you implement in your home, will strengthen your marriage and family.  I will share with you some of my thoughts on each of them.

#1: Faith 

Giving your family a common goal, such as trying to get back to our Heavenly Father's presence, is going to bring more unity.  

#2: Prayer

This is another one that brings unity and peace into a home.  Taking a few moments at the beginning and end of the day to gather together as a family and kneel and thank Heavenly Father for our blessings makes us all more grateful for the things we have.  When we ask for righteous desires of our hearts as a family we once again have a common goal and are more united.  And it is also nice to hear your spouse/family member pray because you get an insight into the things that are on their mind at the time.  I love hearing my husband and children pray and thank God for me or ask to bless me, especially for my MS.  It is so touching.  

#3: Repentance

We all make mistakes.  We all do things we are sorry for.  It could be easy to just think, "They're my spouse/mom, they know I love them, so I don't need to apologize to them."  No, our family are probably the most important people to say sorry to if we hurt them!  

#4: Forgiveness 

Hand in hand with repentance, we need to forgive and move on.  We can't hold grudges.  In any relationship, holding grudges and spiteful behavior will ruin it faster than anything else.  

#5: Respect 

Every one in the family needs to feel respected and able to express emotions, desires, and opinions.  Obviously, parents have somewhat more of a say in decisions than children, but the family should feel like a team.  They should make most decisions together, and everyone needs to feel valued.  A husband and wife should be equal partners in leading the family, rather than one dominating the other.

#6: Love  

Love is essential in a family.  And it may seem that it comes naturally.  But we cannot treat it like that, we need to cultivate love.  Especially between husband and wife, love can diminish if it is not kindled regularly by going on dates and spending quality time together.  Also, serve your family.  If everyone put the needs/wants of the other members of the family before their own, think how wonderful that would be!

#7: Compassion

Compassion is having sympathy/empathy for our loved ones.  We need to listen to them and validate their feelings.  We need to help when they ask for help.  We need to try to build them up rather than tear them down.  Unfortunately, it seems to be human nature to treat those we love the most the worst.  We may find ourselves treating a stranger on the street more kindly than those we live with and love.  It is so easy to do, but we should work to be as kind and compassionate to our family as we are to others.

#8: Work

When all members of the family, children included, are expected to contribute to the care of the home (working for money, cleaning, cooking, whatever), things are much more peaceful.  If only one or a few do everything, chances are they will become spiteful.  Now, of course we need to serve our family in a humble way, but things are just happier when everyone is expected to contribute what they can.

#9: Wholesome Recreational Activities

The family that plays together, stays together!  Making your own family traditions gives your family identity and builds family pride.  Spending time together doing things you enjoy builds positive memories that can be associated with the family.  This is SO important.  Husbands and wives need to pair off and have their own time to have fun together, and the whole family should regularly get out of the house and do fun things.  

I know that these 9 principles will build unity and happiness in our families if we always strive to follow them, so I wanted to share them with you.  Boy, did I need today's lesson just as much as the young women did.  Our little family is definitely not perfect in ANY of these 9!  But we are working on them and trying.  So I know we will be successful.  We are enjoying the journey and learning together.  I am not a perfect wife or parent.  I really need to work on my patience.  But I know that as long as I keep repenting and trying every day to be better, and as long as my family is forgiving and compassionate and helps me in this quest, then we will all get back to Heavenly Father together.  That is what family is for.