Postpartum Depression and MS

The month of September has been a good one for me.  My baby turned 1, which was bittersweet, but for the first time since he was born I have felt like myself again.

After J was born I expected that things would be the same as they were after my daughter was born.  Oh, how wrong I was.  He has a completely different temperament, plus he was allergic to dairy, so he was super fussy until we figured that out and I went off of dairy until he had to be weaned.  My husband was also in the middle of a HUGE project at work when J was born, so that just added to the stress at home.  And then I had a huge MS attack when J was 7 months old.  Looking back, I know I had Postpartum Depression (PPD).  I was exhausted, I didn't want to get up in the mornings, I felt depressed and pessimistic about life, I was not a good mom, I didn't want to be who I was, I didn't want to be a wife or mom.  That is weird for me.  It was scary.  I felt trapped in a life I didn't want to be in.

Then a few weeks ago, those feelings started going away.  How randomly they started going away is what tells me that it must have been postpartum depression.  Boy, am I glad it's going away.  I feel happy again, for the first time in a year!  I love my husband, I love my children, I love my life.

People with MS are more likely to get depressed than the general population, so the same goes for Postpartum.  But because I had no problems with it after my daughter, I assumed it would be the same.  Each pregnancy is different, though, and brings differing hormone levels.  I should have been more proactive in seeking help during this time.  I went to my doctor, who is incredible, but I guess I just didn't express how bad things really were.  I know there are therapy groups, essential oils, and even prescription medications available for PPD, and the next time I have a baby and start feeling like that again, I will be more proactive about getting help.  

Just like any trial in my life, I can see that a couple of huge blessings have come about from this experience.  The biggest one is that my wonderful husband and I were reminded of how important it is to make time for the two of us.  We started doing weekly date nights, something we had become lax about, and we have seen a big improvement in our relationship and in the spirit of our home.   

This month has been good in more ways than one.  Right at the time that I started to feel like myself again, I was offered a job working from home!  I have been wanting to help in the income department, but also wanted to be at home taking care of my children.  Now I can do both!  This is a huge blessing that I don't think I would have felt like I could do if I was still depressed. 

This month I also started doing a joy school with a bunch of my friends for my daughter and her friends.  This is an opportunity to use my college degree, as I am trained to teach preschool.  It has been so fulfilling to get to use my degree, finally.

All of these blessings came at just the right time, the Lord's timing is always the best.