This week is going to be a very difficult time for me emotionally. Tomorrow I have to get back on my MS meds. Tecfidera cannot be taken while pregnant, so I got off of it when I got pregnant with my sweet #3. Then she was born and I wanted to breastfeed for 3 months while I pumped enough breast milk to get her 6 months of being fed exclusively breast milk. But we moved and I had to find a new neurologist, so I could not get a new prescription for Tecfidera until now. Baby E is 5 months old now. The longer I stay off my meds the more likely I will be to have a relapse. I remember the relapse I had after #2 was born... it was awful. I couldn't feel my legs and I couldn't see very well. So I couldn't drive and it was difficult to complete my responsibilities as a mom of two, much less 3.
I definitely don't want that to happen again.
But I absolutely treasure nursing. I don't want to lose that bond. I feel like I am being selfish to take away breast milk from my baby, but at the same time I know that she needs a strong healthy momma for the next 40 years, and I need to be on my meds for her to have that. So I will cry as I hold the bottle to her lips and tell her I love her and that is why I can no longer give her my breast.
